Category: Relateable

The Boss:
This person has authority over everything, even your bathroom breaks. He/she makes you work your butt off and barely gives you credit for it. Some bosses make you work so much that they end up making your dead ancestors dizzy. There’re many kinds of bosses. Some inspire while some make life miserable for their employees. Either you look up to your boss or you absolutely hate your boss; you’re in trouble if you dare to go against him/her.
The deputy:
This person acts like he’s in charge while the boss is away. He tries to impose office rules everywhere, even in the bathroom. His job is to add to everyone’s worries and to spy on all his colleagues.
The gossip machine:
This colleague of yours has nothing better than to collect gossip all day and then spread it to the far ends of the world. Seems to be ‘the deputy’s’ favourite person.
The hungry one:
This person is always hungry. Only talk about food, all the time. I am sure this one even dreams of food.
The blue-eyed boy:
This one is the boss’ favourite. The boss loves this one no matter what. This one is a perfect example of a perfect employee. Punctual, determined and self-motivated.
The talkative one:
This employee of yours never shuts up, ever. You’re always hearing boring stories of their life.

God has made us perfect the way we are, with all our imperfections. We come in all shapes, sizes and colours. We’re beautiful this way, diversity is our beauty. He made some of us taller than the rest and made some of us shorter than the rest. Some people, He made, wider. Some, He made, thinner. Everyone cannot have the same height, width and colour.

We don’t choose how our bodies should have been made. We only choose what to do with this gift of God. He loves us all equally. Then why can’t we accept others the way God has made them. Why must we try to mold everyone to this perception of beauty that has been ingrained in our minds by people who own the fashion industry, people we don’t know even exist. Who gave them the authority to decide what we should consider beautiful and what we should deem ugly.

You pick up any magazine, watch any TV show, all you get to see is people being targeted for their appearance. We are fed a bunch of disgusting lies. That’s beyond shallow. We are being brainwashed into judging people by the way they dress and the way they look. We overlook every other aspect of a person’s personality if he doesn’t fit our delusional beauty standards. We claim him to be undesirable and unworthy of any respect and acknowledgement. Only those are revered who come up to our beauty standards. This is outrageous.
Nobody gave us a license to judge others or a license to force people to change their bodies to our liking. We don’t own anybody. Their bodies are their own. Don’t let magazines and TV define beauty for you. Ever wonder what body shaming victims go through? It may seem harmful to you but ask victims. They’ll tell you how your brutal words shatter their confidence, how they can’t seem to look at themselves in the mirror. There are so many effects of body shaming, one can’t even imagine. Victims suffer with social anxiety, higher amounts of infections, poorer health, crushed self esteem and eating disorders like Bulimia and Anorexia.

This is what a few victims had to say when they were asked about their body shaming experiences.
”My in-laws body shame me all the time, their words shatter my confidence and make me feel ugly and unworthy.” – Sadia
“I was body shamed as a child. I was called fat. I suffered Bulimia first and then Anorexia because of this. I was a fat child and an extremely skinny 23 year old. I finally overcame these disorders. I am happy with my weight and the way I look.”- Hina
“My friends always make fun of my body. It’s not proportionate according to them. I have no self-confidence. I hate my body. I just want to wear baggy clothes and hide myself that nobody ever gets to see me. It’s not in my hands to fix my body.” – Anum

According to Mehwish Siddiqui, an art student, “People in our society claim to go ‘see’ a potential marriage proposal rather than ‘meet’ a potential marriage proposal.” We must change the way we think, even help change the way our elders think because nobody has the right to body shame another. Remember it’s not love or concern, it’s bullying.

When there is a university for all, we actually do get ALL and every type!

People from all over the country are admitted in Universities, education is a necessity of life. A place where everyone is accepted and appreciated to achieve something they couldn’t have on their own, a higher level education platform, which is the place where all sorts of people are found, if you look in the right places:

1. The Parhakoos:

The Parhaakoos are the rarest breeds, they are seen with notes and books in hand, and weird faces with sharp noticing eyes, always looking for extra stuff to lay there filthy parhaakoo paws on, first to enter classes last to leave.

• Hangout Spots: Library
• How to locate them: people in stealth mode, and hurried walks with a focused face and noticing eyes.
• How to avoid them: If you are targeted, start laughing loudly, start swearing or simply start saying “ abhe bhot time papers mai kon parhay”
• Frequent sightings: Following teachers

2. The Professionals:

Strictly follows the dress code, to the point talks, doesn’t stay in university, always have work to do with earphones on and frequent calls even between classes.

• Hangout Spots: Only at Khokas between breaks.
• How to locate them: People talking strictly on phones and not caring who passes by.
• How to avoid them: They avoid you so don’t bother.
• Frequent sightings: Khokas and Parking Areas

 

3. The Wanna bees:

They are observing and carrying it out immediately kinda people, they care about everything and anything that inspires them (which is usually everything), everything is image and image is everything to them, they hang out in groups of odd people, odd as in odd numbers (but I like the way your mind works).

• Hangout Spots: The center table where all attention exist in every café.
• How to locate them: Group of people who notices everyone.
• How to avoid them: One has to get rude.
• Frequent sightings: Everywhere (Trust me)

4. The Couples:

Love birds walking as close as the traffic of Karachi at 6:00pm, they sit together, move together, blend in classes together, eat, walk, laugh, smile, wink, sneeze, cough and what not, they are the walking definition of the word “Together”.

• Hangout Spots: Corners
• How to locate them: Opposite gender sitting as close as Karachi’s traffic.
• How to avoid them: Avoid the corners and you will avoid them.
• Frequent sightings: Corners

5. The loners:

Poorest souls, lurk in the shadows like vampires, never steps out in the light, avoids teachers and does everything in their power to NOT give a presentation, teachers see them and try to motivate them but fail.

Hangout Spots: No one knows.

How to locate them: Catch them in classes, as they disappear in a whiff of smoke after class.

How to avoid them: Never avoid them as you might be their only friend.

Frequent sightings: Only in classes.

6. The Stags

Group of care free boys, roaming around in a gang like manor, swearing like there’s no hereafter and literally LOLing like there ain’t no tomorrow.

• Hangout Spots: Khoka or benches in peak rush hours.
• How to locate them: Hear closely for loud voices and laughter’s.
• How to avoid them: One just simply can’t avoid stags.
• Frequent sightings: Dhabay and khokay.

7. The cools:

Group of multi gender mostly, sophisticated and well mannered, front benchers, pompously and frequently ask questions, good kids from teachers point of view, expensive and classy in choosing, as everything offered on campus is beneath them until they are dying for it and there is no other quick way to get it done.

• Hangout Spots: The most expensive café on campus.
• How to locate them: Mix gender group speaking English as their 1st
• How to avoid them: become a “Maila”(see point No. 10 for assistance)
• Frequent sightings: 1st benches in class, and expensive restaurants check-ins on Facebook.

8. The Sisters:

Two types of The Sisters exist in every university;

1.The Badmash Company(Female version): sisters in arms, unbreakable and non penetrating group of Badmash Girls, carefree and independent, not even the stags and mailas can stand up to them.

2.The Calm Company: highly careful and sophisticated group of girls, good students and their life’s aim is to gossip and only gossip, no boys allowed within a 10 meter radius.

• Hangout Spots: Wherever they want.
• How to locate them: Group of strictly Females, with a few losers guys following.
• How to avoid them: Men MUST avoid them at all costs, the way has not yet been figured out but as experience teaches us we must not linger near them.
• Frequent sightings: In the grounds roaming or running from one place to another.

9. The All rounder’s:

All rounder’s, are the best people in any university, they blend in with everyone and everywhere, wherever they go the meet and greet people on their way, as they know everyone everywhere. They are the people who are the nicest breed of humans.

• Hangout Spots: Where ever they stand for 5 minutes that becomes their spot.
• How to locate them: Just be in need and wish for help, you’ll see an all rounder walking towards you.
• How to avoid them: Whatever might be the reason “NEVER” avoid an all rounder, as that will be the last time you’ll ever see them.
• Frequent sightings: Difficult to see as they blend in pretty well with the crowd.

10. The Mailaas:

Even after songs released on them they just can’t get enough of the university, they are the black spot on a white wall, a punctured tire on a Mercedes, an anday vala burger served with timaatar, a pizza without cheese, a coke without gas, a lassi without malai etc. Their life overflows with color, they flaunt florescent colors as if these were invented for them. Lame jokes, highly vulgar comments, questions that doesn’t make any sense, makes teachers go crazy,
they are like grease, once you touch it, it doesn’t comes off easily.

• Hangout Spots: They are like air, sadly they are everywhere.
• How to locate them: WHY! Why in the world would anyone even think of locating them?
• How to avoid them: If you see them approaching, run like hell, DO NOT look back!
• Frequent sightings: In the purest form of their language if asked “Kahan ho” and I quote “ MANDI mai ”; for those who don’t know mandi can exist anywhere, where ever there are a whole lot of girls in the vicinity, you’ll see them glaring and smirking.

The reason of writing all this was just to describe a normal everyday university life, which we go through but don’t usually talk about.

WHAT TYPE ARE YOU????    

Ever wondered who these pirs and mureeds are? We’ve all come across wall chalking where the pirs provide their contact numbers claiming to have supernatural powers and cure to every problem.

My question is how do people really know if these people are authentic or not or if they really have superpowers. It’s just psychological thinking that’s set in these peoples minds. Let’s face it, they’ve proved time and again that they’re quite good at their job of scamming, but at the people who happily volunteer to be used and abused by these charlatans and then go whining about their misfortune to the authorities, seeking commiseration and justice. Who else is to blame when a pir shamelessly asks a grown man to leave his grown-up daughter at his place overnight so he can “cure” her, and he agrees?

First of all  Islamic history has witnessed several pirs who have been helping people with their extraordinary powers which are blessing on them from their Lord. But these Wali Allah are not allowed to disclose their powers, superiority over a common man, they live a simple life like any other human and politely help the people who are in treat problems. Hazrat Junaid Baghdadi, Qutub Uddin Aulia, Data Ganj Bakhsh (etc.) are the names of just a few of the saints who lived an honest life and helped people without getting a single penny in return.

We had only seen these Pirs do their publicity through wall chalkings but now these people are marketing themselves through social media and claim to have a solution to everything be it problem regarding marriage, divorce or get anyone screwed they claim to have a cure for everything.